First off, I am changing the names to protect the guilty (andE maybe avoid a lawsuit). I’ve noticed a disturbing characteristic in many “traditional” churches when it comes to divorce: The leadership and members are completely opposed to the idea, until one of their own is involved, at which point they have an epiphany that divorce is okay, at least in this instance.
Although I’ve seen this happen many times over the years, it really came home to me when my cousin recently divorced her husband. My cousin (we’ll call her “W”) was married to “E”, a decent, church-going Christian man who has a good career and was a good provider for his family. W and E have two sons, both still school age and at home. At some point W took a job as a secretary for a local businessman who is (allegedly) a millionaire. The businessman had a wife and family of his own as well, yet at some point W and her boss decided they just had to be together in EVERY way possible.
W (my cousin, mind you) decided that even though her husband E was a good man and they had two children at home, she just had to run off with her boss. No accusations of adultery, abuse, addiction or anything else on the part of E, mind you, she just wanted a new man. As a result two marriages (and two families) were destroyed.
W was eventually dis-fellowshipped by her local congregation (“read out” or “excommunicated” would be similar ideas depending on the church in question). Good for them.
Now comes my issue: My family continues to have W and her new Sugar Daddy to family gatherings and social events. Mind you, they are well aware of what Paul says in I Corinthians about “with such a one know not to eat,” yet they continue to invite the two horndogs to various functions. My wife and I have decided that we cannot and will not attend social functions with these two due to their sociopathic sexual practices. Which means that W, who broke up her home and exposes her children to rampant sexual chaos, is welcome, and anyone who objects (my family) is not at family gatherings. I know that a man’s foes will those of his own household, so I suppose this should come as no surprise.
The point I wish to make here, however, is that as long as families, friends and churches continue to welcome those openly practicing adultery into fellowship while shunning anyone opposed to the practice (in effect inverting the teachings of Paul) then we should not be surprised and the continuing trend of more and more adultery and divorce in “traditional” churches. Shunning may not be enjoyable, but if a sexual sociopath is comfortable in your company then you are the one with the problem.