An observation from things I have seen in the congregation I attend over the last few years: Young, single women have a child out of wedlock. Then they begin to want to marry a “good” man. The “good” men in question have little desire to marry the young women. Since the requisite “good” man is not willing, the young woman in question starts a new relationship with any man who will have her…. and soon has another illegitimate child.
What I have seen first hand in these cases is a downward spiral of depression for the mother and poverty for the entire family. Three cases in my own congregation come to mind. The first young woman (no longer young now) has three children by at least two different fathers although she has never been married. Both of the fathers in question are criminals (she acknowledges that she knows at least one to be a drug dealer) and neither provides any support of any type to his children. Her life now consists of welfare, section 8 housing, disability applications and near suicidal depression. Throughout all of this she blames the church for letting her down.
Young woman number two has two children, both by different fathers. As with woman one, she has never been married. She is fortunate in that she has received considerable support from her family, and she does still attend church services (although she has been involved in at least one fracas which has caused another member of the congregation to leave and go elsewhere).
Young woman number three was at least married for a time. As with number one, however, her husband is a drug dealer and has since abandoned her and their three children. She knew he was a criminal when she got together with him, but she was “in love” and did not care. She now lives in abject poverty and has completely stopped attending church.
These are not the only three I could come up with, and this is only in one relatively small congregation. Each of these women chose men whom they knew were not Christians. Each of these women chose to have children with men whom they knew were morally corrupt. Each of these women has done this repeatedly.
What does the future hold? I would guess that none of them will ever find a “good” man who will consider them for marriage. It is almost certain that many of the children of these women will end up in prison or dead at an early age. I believe one of the biggest reasons for this is that young women raised as Christians today are rarely told that they MUST marry a Christian man if they wish to have a good home. Perhaps it is “recommended”, but rarely is it stressed as a necessity. Rather than choosing to be the kind of woman a “good” man would want to marry, each of these women sought out excitement and an “Alpha” who would make them feel good for a night. And now each of these women has condemned her children to a fatherless upbringing.